Rape – Not Going To Stop By Just Talking About It

Rape -The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts. This word had been in the news a lot lately, due to the instances of the same. I chose not to blog about then, because that would just be following the trend. I wanted to talk about it when everything cooled down and suddenly no one really cares about it. 

When a few sad incidences of rape took place in the capital city of India, everyone got emotional and a little too concerned about this particular issue. We all saw protests here, candle marches there, and what not! Some of us were even a part of those protests/candle marches. But as soon as the news faded away, people stopped talking about it and got back to their normal lives. Is that where your concern ends? I am pretty sure that more than half of the guys who actually felt deeply about this issue and went for these protests are the ones who actually stalk girls and eve tease them. When we see a girl getting eve teased, what do we actually do? We just stand and stare. Some even laugh about it. We don’t do anything about it normally, but when it becomes a huge deal, we all become saints and act like we have always been the ones who feel this issue needs to be dealt with and that it’s high time. And the cherry on top of the cake – blaming it all on the government. “The government does nothing.” “The government is useless.” “Can’t they sentence the criminals to death already?” These are just a few phrases which are heard whenever something huge happens. I know the government is partly at fault, but how can anyone blame them for everything? They are not the ones who raped those girls, it is the citizens of this country who did so. It is our fault, not theirs. And why does raping become such a big deal only when it’s in the news? There are cases of rape almost everyday. Why aren’t we concerned about it everyday? Why don’t we act on it everyday? Why don’t we do things to stop it everyday? Who knows, that girl could have been someone related to you. Could you take it if something like that happened to someone close to you? I bet not. 

Raping is not going to stop by just going for candle marches, protesting about the same, and sitting at home, feelings sorry for those girls. Actions need to come into play. When you see a girl getting eve teased, you go up to the person doing this and you tell him to stop. When you see a girl in a vulnerable position, you go and help her out. The system is not going to change until and unless we change ourself. The change has to come from within. In order to change the mindset of the society, you need to change yourself. When you find a girl highly intoxicated, your intention should not be to take advantage of her, but to help her out in every possible way. You can’t expect everything to change within a fortnight, it will surely take time, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t even try. As rightly said by Margaret Mead, “A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

Rape

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Faking – Not The Best Option

People love getting attention. And so they love being popular. I mean, who doesn’t love all this? Some people get all this attention, friends and popularity because of their personality or who they are for real, while others try various ways to attract attention towards them. The most popular way? Faking.

People fake their personalities completely just in order to get popular or make friends. They dress in ways they never thought they would have, they talk in ways they never would have even thought of, they do all those things which they would have probably avoided before. People even get into things like smoking, alcohol and drugs because of this. Underage partying is just an understatement. They try to turn themselves into people they completely aren’t just to get attention and popularity or even friends. Doing such things isn’t uncommon in the world we live in today. It can be seen everywhere. You see your own friends change drastically over time and not for the better, but for a lot worse. Now, there are two kinds of faking – one is you portray yourself as a different person, while the other is that you try to hide something about yourself and hence you appear to be a different person. The first one works great for sometime. You make good friends, you socialize, you get all the attention you wanted, you are surrounded by people you love, and the list goes on. You should completely stop and think for one second. You think these people truly love you? You think these people are your true friends? You think they would still be your friends if you hadn’t become whom they wanted you to become? NO. They love the person you APPEAR to be. They are great friends with the person you FAKE to be. They are only there because of the person they think you are, not because they genuinely love you. If you show them your real self, hardly anyone of them would remain with you. Leaving them aside, are you happy with yourself? The person you’ve become? Did you ever think you were going to turn out this way? You changed yourself on purpose just to get attention. Does that seem legit at all? Do you really love yourself, forget others? All those good girls turn into bitches and sluts, and all those good guys turn into absolute jerks and flirts. Is this seriously who you want to be? You might get a lot of attention, but not even half of it is good attention. You don’t know how much bitching actually goes on behind your back. 

The latter, which makes you appear as a different person is something, I think, almost everyone does. There are some parts of everyone’s lives which they wouldn’t want the world to know, and hence they pretend to be really happy or content other than coming off as unhappy people. This isn’t actually faking, it’s more of protective oneself from all the judgement there is present in this beautiful, little world. I do this all the time. On the days when I am the saddest, I smile the most. There are things about my life which only a few people know, because others are just going to judge me, other than understanding the reason behind it. 

This world has reached a stage where you can’t exactly trust anyone, because you have absolutely no clue about who is faking and who isn’t. If you’ve got genuine true friends, consider yourself lucky. I personally believe that people shouldn’t fake and pretend to be people they aren’t just to “fit in”, rather be themselves and look for people who’d actually love you for who you are and have genuine friends rather than just ones who pretend to be your friends. All that attention will go one day, but your fake personality won’t. One day, you’ll look into the mirror and the reflection wouldn’t be of the person you were, rather of the person you thought you would never become. This is something you will surely regret and end being more lonely and alone than you were before. Remember, you’d rather have people who hate you for who you are rather than having people who love you for who you absolutely are not.

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Best Friends/ True Friends – Learn To Recognize Them.

“The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch swing with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you’ve ever had.” – Anonymous.

I completely agree with the quote above. Best friends are special people. They’re not just friends whom you share secrets with and have fun with, they’re way more than that. They’re people whom you can count on no matter what, who have always got your back, who’ll pick you up when you fall, who’ll do anything to make you smile and whom you’ll have crazy, epic times with. They’re the ones who actually have nice things to say behind your back.

To me, making gazillion number of friends always creates problem. You’ve to make sure you talk to all of them, meet them, keep them happy, remember stuff about them, and the list goes on. Even though all your friends might seem amazing to you, and you might call all of them your best friends, but many of them might really be the opposite of that. Many of them talk behind your back and spread rumors about you. Having a lot of friends is great, but you should learn to recognize people who actually care about you and whom you can always count on. I’ve had many “best friends” in the past, but they all gave me a reason to not trust them. They pushed me down, never supported me, judged me all the time, and other bad things. Now, I have finally found best friends who really love me for who I am and who do give a damn. I haven’t known them for a really long time, but as it is said, “Quantity doesn’t matter, quality does.” My best friends, Twin and Superbad, are the best people I know of. They’re there for me no matter what. No one can make me laugh the way they do. I cannot trust anyone more than I trust them; they are life. Twin, who I got to know just a year back, had been in my school from the start, but we never interacted. We started talking on a school trip, and that sure was one of the best days of my life. She has a beautiful soul, and an amazing personality. No words can ever explain how important she is to me. Superbad is the most epic guy I know of. Always there to motivate me to push my limits and achieve even more than I have. We’ve been through the best and the worse, but our friendship still remains strong. I’m surely never leaving them.

Just like I found them, you should find your true friends/best friends. It doesn’t seem that easy, but you’ll surely find one, or more. Have someone you can go to when you’re the happiest and the saddest. Someone who’ll walk in when everyone else walks out on you. Someone you can be completely crazy around, and they won’t judge you one bit. Someone you can have heart-to-hearts with. Someone who’ll love you, no matter how many times you fail or make mistakes. Remember, not everyone who seems nice on the outside , is nice on the inside.

Best friends

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Break Ups – Don’t Have To Be Depressing Always.

We all go through break ups.They leave you all sad and depressed or they leave you relieved and happy. Some people take no time in moving on, others are still struggling. They still can’t move on. The people who move on so fast is because either they didn’t feel so strongly for the other person, or they had already started getting over them. The reason why some people aren’t able to move on is because it never really ended for them, even if the other person ended it from their side. You felt really strongly for them, but they ended it and disappeared from your life all of a sudden. It sure is a tough time. You don’t feel like being alone all the time, don’t wanna go anywhere. You feel extremely low and keep thinking about the time you spent together. Being depressed all the time isn’t gonna help you move on. If you want to move on for sure, do the following:-

1.Have one person whom you can go to and tell all you feel; someone you can pour your heart out to. You need to speak it all out before you start doing the other steps. Be clear about everything. Also, clear out stuff with your ex. Make sure you know the reason and understand why they broke up in the first place.

2. Keep telling yourself that you want to move on. Don’t think about going back to them at all.

3. Think about the bad things they did to you. Remembering only good things about them won’t let you move on.

4. Keep yourself busy. Sitting idle will force you to think about that person again and again. Do things you love. Get indulged in activities. This is a great time to get to know yourself better.

5. Avoid doing things and going to place which remind you of them. You obviously don’t wanna be reminded of them.

6. Stay happy. Be with friends who love you and you love spending time with. It helps in recovering fast. One more important thing. Tell all your friends and loved ones to not show sympathy all the time. You’re trying to move on. This is a part of life. Stuff like this happens. Tell them to be completely normal with you.

7. Don’t talk to your ex for sometime. If you do talk to him/her, do not talk about your relationship. If he/she asks you how you’re doing, say you’re doing great.

People say that you HAVE to date someone in order to get over someone, but that statement isn’t true for everyone. Some people just need to spend more time with friends, while others may need another partner in order to keep themselves stable and get emotional support. To me, it doesn’t make sense dating someone else because you don’t know if that other person will surely not hurt you. You don’t wanna to break your heart again while already trying to recover from the past break up. Don’t hate your ex for doing what they did. They sure had their own reasons. Try and understand them. Everything happens for a reason. You’ll get someone better who’ll keep you happy. Look at the bright side. You can now roam around with any guy/girl without being questioned. You can now sleep early. You don’t have to be on the phone all the time. You can spend more time with your friends and family. No more complaining or fighting over petty issues. You’re completely free to do whatever you want now. No boundations. Many people give up on love after getting their heart broken, but that’s not the way to go about it. Giving up on love won’t get you anywhere. Give yourself time, but don’t give up. Don’t be afraid to love again, otherwise you’ll never find the person you’re meant to be with. Remember:
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Y.O.L.O – Not a license to be a whore.

Y.O.L.O – You only live once. This phrase has gone viral in the past few months after Drake incorporated it in his song. What I don’t get is did everyone think that we live a hundred times before this phrase came into being? So many people do drugs and alcohol like crazy, and when you ask them why they’re doing this, you’re hit in your face with, “You only live once, bro.” People are hooking up like crazy and acting like complete whores. And why are they doing this? Because they ONLY LIVE ONCE. Does living only once mean you lead your life to a death trap? Do you want to live a life in which you get really sick by the time you get old? Do you really want to live in a world where you have no respect at all? Where you’re known as a mere slut? NO. Why would you want to lead such a life? Y.O.L.O signifies exactly the opposite of what people take it as. You should live a responsible life because YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. Going to parties, getting high as fuck and losing all your senses is not going to get you anywhere (both literally and figuratively). Have fun, do whatever you want to, but you should know your limits. You don’t want to ruin your life by being completely irresponsible in early years of youth. Living only once is all the more reason to work hard and enjoy your life at the same time. You should achieve things and do something so that people remember you always, even after you die. It just might be that you’re an amazing friend, but you don’t want to be remembered as the guy/girl who was always high. Your aim shouldn’t be having 10 shots of vodka in a minute, your aim should be gaining respect and being happy throughout your life. I’m not saying that having alcohol is bad, but it should be done in limits. You only live once, and so live it to the fullest.Don’t make a joke out of yourself. Remember, following stupid trends is not being trendy, it is known as being a dumbass.

This image says it all:
This picture says it all.

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Not all friendships get ruined.

So, we all have exes. More like failed relationships. You are good friends with that person, you fall in love too hard, then it ends up not being the way you expected it to be and nor only do you lose the person you loved, but you also lose a good friend. Same old story. But, it doesn’t have to be this way always. I have always heard people say that exes can NEVER be friends, but I don’t believe in that statement one bit. I once dated a guy whom I loved like hell. He was also my best friend. He was all I wanted. Everything was perfect. One day (as usual), things got complicated and we broke up for some reason. I thought that we could never be friends after this because I was really pissed at what had just happened. I didn’t expect our relationship to take such a turn. We didn’t talk properly for quiet a few weeks, maybe 2-3 months ‘cause we never really talked about the real reasons behind our break up. One fine day, I decided to confront him and ask him why he did what he really did. After a longggg talk, I got to know the real reason. That baggage which I had been carrying for so long finally went away. I was no longer pissed at him or myself. After that, we started talking normally and now we’re the bestest friends we could ever be. The point here is that other than being pissed at your ex for breaking up with you is a stupid thing to do. Other than being sad about about the fact that you broke up, you should be happy about the fact that it happened and you were happy when it happened. Sorting out everything with them and then deciding whether you want to move on or remain friends is a mature thing to do and it’ll take you a long way. Always be on good terms with people, especially your exes, ‘cause you never know when and where you might meet them in future, unexpectedly. Resolving issues there and then is the best policy. You don’t want someone to hate you always and bug you all the time because of what you did in the past. It’s always good to let them know the truth right then other than delaying it for some other time. Talk. Resolve. Move on. 

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